The Travails of a Gnome - by NCspaz (WoW)
Spazicus the gnome was a firey little mage and bald as the day he was born. He didn't start out bald, but one day some barber shops opened up and he was finally able to get rid of that tall pointy cow-lick from the top of his head. The resulting chrome dome actually made him look shorter, if you can believe that, but he didn't care. He could barbecue you from 40 yards and you wouldn't even be able to close the gap before you were reduced to a smoldering pile of ash. So go ahead, call him short.
After performing deed after heroic deed, he found himself in a crystal fortress in eastern Northrend. He had spent several weeks performing tasks for a group of ice giants who call themselves "THE SONS OF HODIR!" They didn't actually yell like that on purpose, but they were so big that everything they said to Spaz shook him to the bone. The Sons of Hodir didn't really like Spazicus at first, but he had helped them out several times and they were starting to warm up to him. He had helped restore several valuable artifacts for them: a large helm, a large horn, and a very large spear. It was hard work, but it paid well.
One day, Spazicus was asked to perform another task for the giants.
"SPAZICUS, WE NEED TO ASK ANOTHER FAVOR OF YOU. YOU ARE TO GO OUT INTO THE ICE VALLEY AND SLAY ONE OF THE GIANT WILD WYRMS!"
Spazicus replied, "No problem, guys. I've killed tons of wyrms in my day. Did I tell you about the time a druid buddy and I two-manned the great dragon, Onyxia?"
"THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE! WE WANT YOU TO PROVE YOUR METTLE BY RIDING ON THE DRAGON AND SLAYING IT WITH NOTHING OTHER THAN HODIR'S SPEAR!"
"Hey, that sounds great and all, but really, I can just run out there and toss a few spells from the ground…done!"
"NO! YOU MUST RIDE THE WYRM! IF YOU START TO LOSE YOUR GRIP, YOU MUST HOLD TIGHTER! IF HE SWIPES AT YOU WITH HIS LARGE SHARP CLAWS, YOU MUST DODGE IT! WHEN HE PUTS YOU IN HIS JAWS, YOU MUST OPEN THEM WIDE ENOUGH TO THRUST HODIR'S SPEAR DOWN ITS THROAT!"
"Well, I guess I could ride the wyrm. I have a slow fall spell that will keep me from going splat if I fall off. But do I really need to kill it with a spear? My melee skills aren't the best you know. I haven't even trained my polearm skill. Tell you what…I will ride the wyrm, tighten my grip, dodge the sharp claws, and open his mouth. When his mouth is wide open, I'll toss a couple fireballs and maybe some arcane missiles down his throat! Bet it has never been done that way before. What do you say?"
"YOU MUST USE THE SPEAR. NO FIREBALLS. SERIOUSLY. I MEAN IT!"
"Have you seen that spear? It is literally the size of a football field. In case you haven't noticed, I am a gnome. You honestly expect me to carry that thing?"
"YES."
"Well, since you insist."
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